Shrapnel

Cradled by fists
rather than palms,
wide open to hold
my little red heart,
your love only a tool
used to silence a crying child
used at the right moments,
used, just like me.

Fishing wire and tackle
litter my memory of you.
Kodak memories
shoved into a dismal childhood
making a minefield
out of my head,
knowing that at any moment
my innocence could become shrapnel.

I excuse you,
rationalize for you,
stay silent for you,
let your actions speak for you,
and you ignore me,
forget that you know me,
stop from loving me,
and, like a coward, blame me.

If you never touch me again,
it'll be too soon.

Tongue Tied

There's a secret
that I hold inside myself,
about a darkness no one should see.
I long to tell you.
To open up these lips and let it run,
into your ears, into your heart,
but my lips freeze, my heart stops,
and I rationalize my cowardice.

You've got a secret,
that you're afraid to tell me,
about shame you've carried so long.
I long to hear it.
For you to unleash your tied tongue,
from it's bindings, from it's cage,
but you start and stop, start and stop,
and I sigh.

I start, you stop, I sigh.

Stronger

You are stronger

than my weakness, 

You are stronger, 

than my pride. 

And though my life 

is always led to darkness, 

You're always the light. 

You've always been the light. 

Red Shame

Paint brushed cheeks,
Fire-engine red,
Counting stones on the ground,
Eyes averted.
Keep it up, keep it up,
Shame never worked so well!
You wonder what's stopped you,
From trying this before?
A sense of indecency perhaps?
You tell yourself no.
Words drip from your lips,
Casting a shadow,
Crushing your victim,
Building your pride.
Keep it up, keep it up,
Glory only lasts so long,
Pride won't keep you warm at night,
And soon enough,
Even cruelty will become boring.

Oak Avenue

It's raining liquid love
and pooling on the concrete
are the quizzical looks and hidden gestures,
falling from a broken sky.

The roof leaks on days like these.
Water on glass shards create a symphony,
drowning out the screaming,
covering up the cries.

A house underneath a heaven so high,
yet filled with the darkness only Hell could bring.
Even as the rain falls,
These walls will never be white again.

You couldn't wash away these stains if you tried.