These Days. . .

There is a dichotomy of want and will,
Festering deep in the center of my heart,
Threatening to divide and conquer.
Once upon a time these two things were in unison,
I wanted whatever was to be willed,
But now I feel as if Your will would kill me.
I fight this separation,
Knowing my desire is nothing without approval,
Because when I tolerate my own disobedience,
I only descend farther into depravity.
It is for this reason, that I bury your name,
Protect my heart and the civil war that ensues,
Because I know I cannot be trusted.
So until I can restore order to this chaos,
I will close my eyes and say one more prayer.
It's all I can seem to do these days. . .